Remembering My Mom

On this Mother’s Day I’m posting one of the many letters I wrote to my mortgage clients over the last 5 years.  Writing personal stream of consciousness type letters was something I did to stay in touch, and a way of sending something interesting in the mail once a month, rather than a bill or an ad.

This letter was written 3 years ago, in advance of Mother’s Day, shortly after my Mom died.

By The Grace Of God, Grace Is With God

After a nearly 15 year battle with Alzheimers, my Mom died last month at the age of 84.  I know your first impulse is to say, “Oh I’m Sorry!”  Thank you.  But really, I was energized by the news.  It’s been well over 10 years since Mom could recognize any of us.  She was alive only in the most technical, clinical sense.  My personal grieving was over long ago.  Now I can delight in the freedom of her soul.

Decades before the two income household became the norm, Grace Williams was a registered nurse, raising 8 kids.  Yes, 8.  Her cloud in Heaven deserves to be extra cushy, but no angels wings for her…she did her time here on Earth.

As the baby of the family, I lucked into a special privilege.  I was in the afternoon kindergarten, so I had Mom all to myself each morning.  Everyone else could only share in her time.  I loved school, but I hated when the bus came, because Winnie the Pooh just got into another jam, and Mom would have to put the bookmark in where she left off reading to me.

Lucky Grace, she got to raise a teen-aged Brian all by herself!  She drove 30 miles one way, maybe 50, to watch basketball games I didn’t even get to play in.  She wouldn’t let me drive after 9 pm, so she went with me and my oddball friends to see drive-in movies like Tool Box Murders.  Drunk at 14, DUI at 18, yet President of National honor Society in between, why was her baby such a challenge?

But really, I couldn’t faze her.  One Saturday morning in high school I was out with a friend on a sloppy winter day.  I lost control of her car and crashed.  I was unhurt, but shaken.  The police dropped me off at home.  I entered the living room and Mom was on her hands and knees, scrubbing the linoleum living room floor. 

“Uhh Mom,” I stammered, “I was in an accident…and I totalled your car.”  She looked up and said, “Ohhhh, that’s tooo baaaad…are you all right?’  A little stunned at that reaction, I slowly nodded yes.  She said, “Wellllll that’s good.”  and she went back to scrubbing.

She died wealthy.  I’m still counting the goodies left me…patience, empathy, trust, faith, humility, virtue, outspokenness, confidence, a positive attitude and a dozen other things I haven’t even learned to use yet.  I hope I don’t ever squander the riches she bestowed upon me.

Sincerely,

Brian